Little Girl , Holy Bride - I'm coming Back For You

By Sara Schwartz 26 shvat, Friday

Sun is beating on my neck

Cold wind blowing on my face

Shalom just woke up and is smiling at me

My neck and back are hurting a little

My heart feels a bit constricted

But also a bit open

I'm learning that marriage happens

When there's true intimacy between the man and the woman

Where both are fully seen and heard

My man, My soul,

I'm used to listening to

I know it wants to pray and do mitzvot

And help others

I got pretty good at that

What about my woman

My body

My feelings

My animal soul..

I got so used to pushing her away

Punishing her for her feelings

And for her desires

She doesn't even have a voice anymore

Doesn't know what she wants

Little girl

Holy bride

I'm coming back for you

I want to hear you

I want to sit with you

With your covered face

And hold your hand

And just be ready to attend to your wishes

At any moment

So we can have that intimacy We both so desire

So what are you feeling now my bride?

What are your desires?

I know you wanted to walk and move your body and stretch..

So here I am

I know you love the sun and the fresh air

So here I am

I also feel I want to be understood

So here I am listening..

I want to be taken care of..

I want to know where our family should live

And where the kids should go to school

Where would be best for our family to grow together?

Is it Florida? In a growing Jewish community with a huge school..

Or is it moving to a farm as pioneers?

I feel like I have a desire to nurture a community where everyone feels valued for who they are..

And can be able to afford a home in beautiful nature..

I hear you dear bride..

Let's start with honoring yourself and valuing all of your feelings..

And feel at home in your body..

I'm here for you for that.

And Hashem, loving master of the world.. will guide us.. to our physical home..

I want to enjoy being a woman

Being a bride

Having my husband approach me

Cover my face

Knowing I am being taken care of

Knowing my desires are important

Knowing I am loved and worthy and beautiful

No matter if anyone needs me or wants me…

I know I am loved

I love myself

My husband loves me

And Hashem loves me.